https://wordsontheinternet.org/2017/07/07/sarah-unintentionally-stabs-herself-multiple-times-over-several-minutes/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/starbucks.jpgstarbucks2019-01-13T20:49:59+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/12/11/chuck-encounters-a-malfunctioning-tree/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/sun-behind-pine-tree.jpgsun-behind-pine-tree2015-12-11T22:21:29+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/08/12/chuck-tries-not-to-fall-off-the-earth-2/2015-08-15T04:38:10+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/07/07/dave-discovers-a-horse-on-the-surface-of-mars/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/kux_3135.jpgMars Zach DiamondIn space, no one can hear you neigh. 2015-08-16T14:32:19+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/06/17/detective-chuck-investigates-an-obvious-self-decapitation/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/crime-scene-clean-up.jpgZach Diamond Detective ChuckYou can't spell suicide without decapitation. Actually, wait, you totally can.2015-06-17T20:58:55+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/06/12/dave-has-an-awkward-conversation-with-his-eighteen-year-old-daughter/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/twitter-selfie-twelfie-selfie-girl-red-lips-gorgeous.jpgSelfies Zach DiamondSelfies: Not Even Once. Well, maybe just once. Or twice. Or until it's perfect.2015-08-16T17:33:59+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/06/02/the-legend-of-sir-hero-mcbravebattle-and-his-mentally-handicapped-donkey/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/l.jpgKnight Zach DiamondThey are not pit stains, but battle scars. Sweaty, smelly, battle scars. 2015-06-02T21:25:32+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/05/29/mark-applies-to-become-the-fifth-horseman-of-the-apocalypse/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/2fa3a0_f36d772d595ac6006282eb9dc4a9eba1.jpgApocalypse Zach DiamondSure, four horsemen might be nice. But five? Now that's a party. 2015-05-29T23:18:02+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/05/19/chuck-makes-a-blood-sacrifice-at-the-dmv/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/17lwc7mbzib3gjpg.jpgDMV Chuck Zach DiamondJust thinking about the Department of Motor Vehicles sends shivers down my spine.2015-05-22T14:37:56+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/05/12/mark-the-janitor-is-pretty-sure-the-building-isnt-trying-to-kill-him/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/hey-teachers-leave-them-kids-alone-abandoned-school-classroom-in-detroit.jpgHaunted School Zach DiamondPesky co-workers, always rigging the school to bleed and threaten me.2015-05-12T20:44:05+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/05/08/chuck-meets-a-surprisingly-vivacious-severed-head/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/killarney_forest_trail_ii___hdr_by_somadjinn-d48vsxa.jpgZach Diamond ForestIdaho is known for two things: potatoes and magical forests.2015-05-08T19:25:37+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/05/01/chuck-writes-a-letter-to-his-future-self/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/gezel_4.jpgZach Diamond Chuck FutureNever trust a letter from the future. It might be a Terminator.2015-05-01T21:14:12+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/24/ash-ketchum-fondles-his-balls-in-a-pokemon-butcher-shop/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/pikachuchart.jpgpikachuchartI am so sorry for what I've done to your childhood.2025-02-05T02:44:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/21/dora-the-explorer-confronts-the-mexican-cartel/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/c1280x720_44.jpgDora Zach DiamondI'm going to be honest: this picture is terrifying.2015-06-03T19:49:20+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/17/chuck-meets-a-manly-gladiator-that-is-absolutely-not-a-his-daughter-in-disguise/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/k4ggd.jpgGladiator Zach DiamondBelieve it or not, I used to be a gladiator when I was a child. Well, not really. At all.2015-04-17T20:52:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/14/howard-avoids-a-dirty-homeless-man-on-his-way-to-a-funeral/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ss_045_1970_06_16_man_on_bus_in_sydney-2.jpgBus Zach DiamondOn the bus, nobody can hear you scream. Except for everybody else.2015-05-05T08:42:32+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/10/dave-discovers-his-dog-has-written-a-bucket-list/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/istock_000004852628medium-dog-with-paper.jpgZach DogSometimes a dog just feels like it's time to learn how to write. We've all been there.2015-04-11T23:18:46+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/06/after-years-of-monitoring-xbox-live-chat-aliens-have-prepared-their-first-message/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/untitled.pngUntitledWe come in peace, bearing gifts of swag for you retarded hackers. 2015-04-06T20:21:52+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/04/03/chuck-inadvertently-uses-nutella-to-bring-about-armageddon/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/nutella.jpgNutella Zach DiamondHonestly, it was only a matter of time until Nutella caused the apocalypse. 2015-04-03T18:39:34+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/31/dave-infiltrates-putins-compound-by-becoming-a-bear/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/1382593929_1754888077.jpgPutin Bear Zach Diamond"Hey, you want to come over to my place and do bear stuff?"2015-03-31T21:01:17+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/27/a-perfectly-good-reason-for-kidnapping-a-princess/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/57b23751a251f8295d221c9239fe4dc9.jpgDragon Zach DiamondI mean, she kind of had it coming. 2015-03-27T21:46:53+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/24/jesus-gets-sick-of-our-shit-after-his-thirty-sixth-crucifixion/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/jesus-facepalm.jpgZach Diamond JesusSeriously, you guys. This is getting old now.2015-03-25T09:24:38+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/20/chuck-tells-the-grittiest-manliest-most-testorone-filled-bedtime-story-to-his-niece/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/giant-panda-bear-machine-gun-funny_w500_h500.jpgGiant Panda Bear machine gun funny_w500_h500"I'm about to make you an endangered species, too."2015-03-20T19:59:27+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/17/theres-something-behind-the-glass/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/untitled.pngClown Zach DiamondDoes anybody know how to make the tapping stop?https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/glass-man.jpgglass-manDoes anybody know how to make the tapping stop?2023-11-21T19:09:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/14/chuck-buys-a-tv-on-craigslist-and-becomes-bread/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/bread.jpgChuck Bread Zach DiamondWith grain power comes grain responsibility.2015-03-14T23:24:58+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/10/morpheus-accidentally-offers-neo-too-many-pills/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/red-or-blue-pill-matrix-neo-morpheus.jpgZach Diamond Matrix"Taste the unintentional and life-shattering rainbow."2015-03-11T22:10:04+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/06/osha-shuts-down-the-kerbal-space-program-due-to-safety-violations/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/kerbals_1920x1080.jpgKerbal Zach DiamondThey may look innocent, but they're actually uncontrollable psychopaths.2015-03-06T21:32:27+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/03/03/chuck-definitely-positively-meets-a-real-wizard/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/alcohol-alcoholic.jpgWizard Zach Diamond"I've seen a lot of wizards in my day, and that's definitely a wizard." 2015-03-03T21:58:04+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/27/dave-unintentionally-eats-a-former-coworker/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/the-walking-dead03.jpgZombie DaveOh, I'm sorry, were you not done with that leg?2015-03-01T07:21:07+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/24/woody-finally-speaks-to-a-dying-andy/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/woody_toy_story_3.jpgWoody Zach DiamondIt's not exactly a comedy. 2015-02-26T21:41:03+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/20/chuck-meets-mr-right-prince-charming-and-a-knight-in-shining-armor/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/doorknock.jpgPrince Charming Zach DiamondIf there are a bunch of strangely dressed men at your door, always open it.2015-02-21T07:06:47+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/13/the-seven-habits-of-highly-infected-people/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/spain-ebola.jpgInfectious Zach DiamondIf this isn't how you leave the house each morning, you're not doing it right.2015-02-13T21:09:00+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/11/kanye-west-proves-hes-the-most-humble-man-in-the-world/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/vibe-kanye-jesus-yeezus.pngZach Diamond Kanye WestJesus was a modest man, therefore so is Kanye.https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/kanye-west-crown-snl-oct32010.pngkanye-west-crown-snl-oct32010https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/kanye-west.jpgZach Diamond Kanye WestKanye "The Most Humble Man in the World" West has a nice ring to it.2015-02-23T03:26:06+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/03/kim-jong-un-competes-in-the-2016-summer-olympics/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/horse_times_egypt_74.jpgLondon 2012 Olympic GamesYou don't just get the title "Glorious Leader" unless you're truly glorious. 2015-02-06T20:59:44+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/02/06/carl-finds-himself-surrounded-by-more-charred-bodies-than-usual/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/skeleton-computer-billboard-650.jpgZach Diamond SkeletonThe tie really helps keep the whole outfit together. Literally. 2015-02-06T20:59:25+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/01/30/chuck-meets-the-girl-of-his-dreams-over-skype/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/skype_std_use_logo_pos_col_rgb.jpgSkype Zach DiamondIf an unfamiliar person adds you on Skype, make sure you accept and begin talking to them.2015-01-30T20:44:15+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/19/president-chuck-learns-americas-greatest-secret/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/reptilian-obama.jpgreptilian-obama2015-01-22T17:20:36+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/01/20/chuck-is-90-sure-his-waiter-is-hitler/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/223306.jpgZach Diamond Chuck HitlerWhat else would a genocidal maniac do than work in customer service?2015-01-20T19:03:46+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/01/09/chuck-sacrifices-his-life-on-behalf-of-the-united-states-congress/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/us-congress.pngCongress Zach DiamondHello2015-02-11T22:01:52+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2015/01/06/howard-struggles-with-a-human-infestation/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/plumber-booty.jpgInfest Zach DiamondYou don't want to stare at it, yet you just can't seem to look away.2015-01-08T23:45:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/30/chuck-suffers-a-series-of-embarrassing-events/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/100_0533.jpgBathroom Zach DiamondI've never gone into a bathroom and been happy to see an attendant in there. 2014-12-30T19:46:59+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/26/comcast-hires-a-teen-friendly-internet-representitive/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/comcast-logo.jpgComcast Zach DiamondHere at Comcast, we're hip to your youngster Internet lingo and maymays.2014-12-26T20:48:33+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/23/carl-has-an-unfortunate-conversation-with-his-cat/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/dscn2282.jpgCat Zach DiamondSometimes it's best not to know what your cat is saying. 2014-12-23T20:34:31+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/16/chuck-hacks-into-the-cia-mainframe/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/ski-mask-hacker-2.jpgHacker Zach DiamondThe ski mask prevents the Cyber Police from seeing your face.2015-04-19T15:12:06+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/about/2014-12-12T18:05:17+00:00weekly0.6https://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/12/jimmy-wales-addresses-wikipedias-recent-shutdown/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/wikipedia-plans-to-raise-16-million-in-2010-fundraising-round-2.jpgZach Diamond WikipediaSo long and thanks for all the citations! 2014-12-13T19:40:33+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/09/chuck-concludes-his-neighbor-is-a-vaccum-repairman/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/800px-neon_open_green.jpgOpen Zach Diamond"Open" for Vacuum Repairs is the only thing it could mean.2014-12-09T21:01:09+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/05/the-savage-war-on-little-people/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/sandbag-castle-01-2011.jpgZach Diamond Little PeopleThis is one of the weirdest stories I've ever written. Also offensive if you're a LP.2014-12-05T21:38:54+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/12/02/the-adventures-of-robin-and-batman/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/2549893-batman-and-robin-wall-walk.jpgRobin Zach Diamond"Honestly, Batman, it would make so much more sense if you just had your own rope."https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/batman_4.jpgBatman Zach Diamondasdf 2014-12-03T14:30:16+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/11/28/globflorb-and-the-super-mario-themed-invasion-simulation/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/super-mario-bros-duck-hunt-u-2.pngAliens Zach DiamondIt's a well-assumed fact that Humans cannot move in three dimensions.2014-11-28T20:42:08+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/11/25/howard-takes-his-company-public-before-nap-time/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/h-baby-in-a-suit-960x540.jpgZach Diamond Office Babies"Johnson, god dammit, I think I pooped myself."2014-11-25T20:30:26+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/11/21/chuck-is-surrounded-by-corporate-zombies/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/6296722282_9bac0ed964_z.jpgChuck Zombies Zach DiamondLiterally. They're literally corporate zombies.2014-11-22T02:25:20+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/11/07/chuck-has-an-interspecies-identity-crisis/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/dsc_0143.jpgDSC_0143No time like the middle of a birthday party to share life-altering news!2014-11-07T19:18:15+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/26/a-brief-history-on-why-the-industrial-revolution-sucked-featuring-michael-bay/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/1087899.jpgIndustrial Zach DiamondI believe this is an accurate representation of the Industrial Revolution.2014-11-06T16:55:32+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/11/04/chuck-accidentally-decapitates-a-man-at-the-bank/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/raven-10.pngChuck Bank Zach Diamondhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/e35feb6f1b.jpgChuck Bank Zach Diamond"Who put this here? Because it definitely wasn't me."2014-11-07T11:55:15+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/31/chuck-investigates-a-particularly-fishy-crime-scene/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/istock_000013504619xsmall.jpgiStock_000013504619XSmall"Looks like he probably bit his own tongue so hard he died. Case closed."2014-11-01T18:43:08+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/02/19/how-to-explain-to-your-parents-that-you%e2%80%99re-a-starfish/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/royal_starfish_astropecten_articulatus_on_the_beach.jpgRoyal_starfish_(Astropecten_articulatus)_on_the_beach2014-10-31T20:15:19+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/28/dracula-accidentally-contracts-ebola/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/bichat_hospital_ebola_room.jpgVampire Ebola Zach DiamondI vant to suck you bloo--actually, no. Never mind.2014-10-30T15:08:22+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/24/the-man-outside-her-perfect-window/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/stalker-through-window-shot.jpgWindow Zach DiamondThere are three endings for you to choose from! How fun! And weird!2022-11-29T18:23:28+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/21/chuck-moves-into-a-not-so-spooky-haunted-house/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/haunted-house-1.jpgHaunted House Zach DiamondOogaboogabooga! Are you scared yet?2014-10-24T20:31:05+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/17/obama-adventures-obama-gives-a-drunken-speech-to-a-bunch-of-children/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/130116_obama_guns_kids.jpgObama Zach Diamond"Lemme get some skin, bro. Killer." - Barack Hussein Obama2014-10-17T21:01:41+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/07/22/the-first-thing-i-ever-wrote-for-my-first-fiction-class/2014-10-17T20:42:47+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/26/chuck-saves-his-real-life-sitcom-from-cancellation/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/eye_peeker.jpgChuck Neighbor Zach DiamondPeekaboo.https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/youngboy_tcm4-402290.jpgChuck Neighbor Zach DiamondPeekaboo.2014-10-13T01:34:32+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/10/carl-tries-to-buy-weed-at-the-74th-annual-hungry-games/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/cornucopia_74th_games.pngCornucopia_74th_gamesTurns out that the thing in the middle was filled with illegal drugs the whole time.2014-10-10T20:24:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/19/the-flippers-and-fur-of-beauty-incarnate/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/mama-june-600.jpgmama-june-600https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/r-mama-june-facts-large570.jpgTLC2014-10-08T14:34:44+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/07/obama-is-absolutely-not-a-mole-person/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/mole.pngObama Mole Zach DiamondIf you look really closely, you can tell it isn't really Obama.2014-10-07T20:36:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/10/03/chuck-pretends-to-be-a-french-alcoholic/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/eiffel-tower-paris-facts-and-information-of-incredible-history1.jpgChuck French Zach DiamondI only had to use Google Translate 95% of the time.https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2stupen.jpg2stUpeN2014-10-11T01:57:00+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/30/im-not-very-good-at-this-chapter-2/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/police-detective-kit-721773606830.pngpolice-detective-kit-721773606830Still for mature, intelligent audiences only. But now specifically for infants.2014-09-30T21:09:28+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/23/obama-adventures-obama-grows-a-convincing-beard/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/obama-hope-beard.jpgZach Diamond Obama AdventuresThe man does not make the beard, the beard makes the man.2014-10-22T16:13:29+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/16/vegetable-folk-declare-war-on-vegetarians/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/062.jpgVegetables Zach DiamondThat cucumber was a great guy, but now he's just a slice of who he once was.2014-09-23T20:16:56+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/06/an-actual-letter-from-former-president-barack-obama-to-his-replacement/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/barack-obama-writing-a-letter1.jpgObama Letter Zach DiamondTo whom it may concern.2014-09-23T20:16:51+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/13/obama-adventures-the-united-states-transforms-into-a-jet/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/theonion.jpgObama Adventures Zach DiamondThis is probably my most mature story yet.2014-09-23T20:16:48+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2012/07/14/samuel/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/beers.jpgSam Adams2014-09-22T18:31:06+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/02/14/i-may-well-be-an-alcoholic/2014-09-22T18:24:30+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2012/07/13/stage-one-iv/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/bullet.jpgStage One, IV.2014-09-22T18:20:56+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/04/19/sestina-the-plastic-flower/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/blue_flower.jpgPlastic Flower2014-09-22T18:18:48+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/02/14/alcoholic/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/apple.jpgI may well be an alcoholic.2014-09-22T18:15:39+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/01/30/200/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/your-pretty-face-is-going-to-hell-sneak-peek-welcome-to-hell.jpgChuck's Promotion2014-09-19T15:57:34+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/15/chuck-smokes-meth-and-steals-a-car/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/coventry.jpgChuck Meth Zach DiamondNever invite a cop to a meth party. They always get super handcuff-y. 2015-05-29T23:17:28+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/12/chuck-goes-on-a-particularly-bad-date/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/fancy-dinner-table-for-two-uksfsuvq.jpgChuck Date Zach DiamondI honestly don't even know what I wrote this time. This one is too weird.2023-08-08T03:13:13+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/09/undercover-chuck-and-the-chocolate-factory/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/gal_wonka_oompa_loompas.jpgOompa Loompas: The skinheads of the candy world.2014-09-09T19:59:19+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/09/05/an-unfortunately-accidental-death-of-the-peoples-champion/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tera.jpgZach Diamond DungeonHe isn't actually as friendly as he looks.2014-09-05T21:20:02+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/29/chuck-discovers-a-whale-on-the-subway/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/chuck.pngZach Diamond Chuckhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/whale-subway-chuck.pngWhale subway Zach DiamondFULL DISCLOSURE: This picture took longer to make than I'd like to admit.2014-08-29T23:08:26+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/22/steve-decides-to-summon-the-demon-of-patron-wealth/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/wealth.jpgwealth Zach DiamondeHow.com has a surprisingly good tutorial on demonic summoning rituals.2014-08-22T20:58:16+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/19/chuck-is-definitely-not-a-robot/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/tin-man.jpgRobot Chuck Zach DiamondIt's just a skin condition. 2014-09-22T15:54:11+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/05/chuck-stumbles-upon-a-severed-head/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/chuck-enjoys-a-snack1.jpgChuck Enjoys a Snack Zach DiamondIt was just kind of hanging out on the floor there. 2014-08-14T16:10:38+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/28/under-the-influence/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/stock-footage-phone-hanging.jpgPhone Zach Diamond2014-08-13T02:02:43+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/30/howard-requests-a-trial-by-combat-for-a-speeding-ticket/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/124.jpgTrial by Combat Zach DiamondAin't no one gonna infringe on none of my rights.2014-08-13T01:58:11+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/11/21/ancient-story-about-bears-should-be-published-imo/2014-08-13T01:02:00+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/12/wile-e-coyote-seeks-an-outside-consultant/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/coyote-2.jpgZach Diamond Wile E Coyote"What can I do to make this simple contraption much more complicated and dangerous?"2014-08-13T12:51:20+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/08/08/howard-notices-something-strange-about-chuck/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/600px-swat_akms.jpgRobbery Zach DiamondA bank robbery is neither the time nor the place to make personal discoveries. 2014-08-09T16:26:44+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/20/chuck-accidentally-kills-himself-and-goes-to-hell/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hell-by-wilkerson-wickersonart.jpgZach Diamond Hell Chuck2014-11-02T17:16:29+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/25/jesus-christ-intergalactic-fugitive-from-the-law/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/prison-w-bricks.jpgJesus Fugitive Zach Diamond"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. But I might still get away with it." - Jesus H. Christ (the H is for Hortatio)https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/jail_jesus_web.jpgJesus Fugitive Zach Diamond"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. But I might still get away with it." - Jesus H. Christ (the H is for Hortatio)2014-08-05T20:06:30+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/22/chuck-accidentally-touches-his-swirling-mirror/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/dimensional_portal_by_darknesfreak-d426vk7.jpgZach Diamond PortalIt feels wrong, but it also feels so right. 2014-10-09T23:22:13+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/19/a-work-camp-for-singles/2014-07-19T16:42:53+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/16/chuck-captures-an-illegal-alien/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/redneck_gun_20100526_1984409262.jpgChuck Alien Zach DiamondAin't no immigrants gonna git into my Amurica.2014-07-16T21:12:39+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/11/chuck-has-an-argument-with-his-toaster/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/toaster2.jpgZach Diamond ToasterAt least it isn't racist. 2014-09-19T15:55:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/08/chuck-considers-the-merits-of-purchasing-a-home-in-hell/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/house-fire.jpgHell House Zach DiamondYou'll save a ton of money on heating in the winter.2014-07-11T19:43:14+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/04/howard-american-hero-vs-illegal-aliens-wp/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/24cdd16e6c95664a7edb288ba7a51b3b.jpg24cdd16e6c95664a7edb288ba7a51b3b2014-07-02T16:01:54+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/07/01/the-adventures-of-mayo-man-a-very-tangy-robbery/2014-07-02T02:30:04+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/05/randy-the-rhino-has-a-terrible-day/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/rinoceronte-color-2.pngRandy Rhino Zach Diamondhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/10954214-cute-cartoon-rhino-running-through-the-jungle.jpgRandy Rhino Zach Diamond2014-07-01T17:50:23+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/27/a-review-of-the-dark-knight-by-a-critic-who-unintentionally-watched-the-bootleg-version/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/fortresstakes.jpgZach Diamond Dark KnightI understand that Batman probably gained some wieght since "Begins," but are the groceries necessary?2014-06-27T20:35:02+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/25/chuck-comes-to-a-startling-realization/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/post-apocalyptic_city.jpgChuck Apocalypse Zach DiamondDid it always look like this?2014-06-25T21:49:02+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/19/chuck-grylls-sassy-survivalist-wp/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_3978.jpgSassy Survival Zach DiamondChuck Grylls Sassy Survivalist2014-06-20T17:47:31+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/03/dating-advice-mysterious-chucks-unisex-book-of-dating-and-pickup-artistry/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_02381.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondDammit, Pedro. https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/woman-carrying-books-apple-280x280.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondThis girl knows what's up. https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/really_huge_biceps_by_n_o_n_a_m_e-d506u4d.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondThis isn't even remotely close to big enough.https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/coins.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondFig 1. These are coins. Place in pocket. Good job.https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/censored.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondThanks, Obama. - Chuckhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/happy-old-people.jpgDating Advice Zach DiamondYou're Gonna Have a Good Time2014-06-27T16:16:15+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/23/chuck-grylls-office-survivalist-and-potential-murderer/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/office_prison_2.jpgoffice_prison_22014-06-20T17:46:49+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/30/the-big-pink-kill-yourself-in-the-night/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/apocalyptic-city-background.jpgApocalypse-Zach-Diamond2014-06-20T17:46:44+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/09/russia-accidentally-catches-on-fire/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/earth2.jpgRussian War Zach Diamondhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/apocalyptic_wallpaper_space_nature_wallpaper_1920_1200_widescreen_1248.jpgRussian War Zach Diamond2014-06-20T17:46:40+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/13/the-flawless-perfect-burden-of-the-luckiest-man-alive/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/mega-millions-lottery-ticket-b39011ba3c8b5c1e.jpegLuck Zach Diamond2014-06-20T17:46:38+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/16/space-rednecks-protectors-of-intergalactic-property/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/rednecks-red-planet-rocket-city.jpgSpace Rednecks Zach Diamond2014-06-20T17:46:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/17/chuck-confronts-several-racist-aliens/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/charlie-intel.jpgZach Diamond ChuckGoing where no racist has gone before.2014-07-09T02:03:17+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/04/casper-the-friendzoned-ghost/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/johndouglas_booberry_03.jpgZach Diamond Fedora Friendzone2014-06-20T17:44:14+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/21/the-falafel-life-chooses-chris/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/falafel.jpgZach Diamond Falafel2014-06-20T17:27:34+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/25/an-inefficnent-debate-amongst-gods-titans-deities-and-a-black-guy/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/gods.jpgGladiators-Zach-Diamond2014-06-16T15:32:24+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/10/jesus-suffers-a-bit-of-stage-fright/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/jesusu.jpgJesus Stage FrightHe survived crucifixion, but can he survive high school? 2014-06-11T00:40:03+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/05/the-pun-outlaw-crime-and-punishment/2014-09-19T11:17:41+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/06/03/im-not-very-good-at-this-chapter-1/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/police-detective-kit-721773606830.pngI'm Not Very Good At This Zach DiamondStill for mature, intelligent audiences only. But now specifically for infants.2014-08-19T21:37:42+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2012/07/23/50-hues-of-silver-chapter-7/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/fannypacks.pngfannypacks2014-05-31T05:28:18+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/28/claire-flirts-dangerously-and-learns-hieroglyphics-at-the-bank/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/bank-windows.jpgClaire Flirts Zach Diamond2014-05-31T04:48:34+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/23/historical-bang-bus-the-natural-selection/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/367964415_2a5ba8bbc6.jpgZach Diamond Historical2014-05-23T18:08:59+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/21/a-kindergartener-with-the-inner-monologue-of-a-pedantic-35-year-old-struggles-with-his-seat-belt/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/seat-belt.jpgZach Diamond MonologueSurely it is a device made purely for torture.2015-06-03T04:40:17+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/14/the-dangers-of-injecting-a-marijuanas-a-true-story/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/syringe_plunger.jpgsyringe_plungerhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/multiplesclerose.jpgInjecting Marijuana Zach Diamond2014-05-08T16:57:15+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/05/02/an-excerpt-from-a-romance-novel-written-by-a-homeschooled-feminist/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-writing1.jpgRomance Novel Zach DiamondArtists' rendition of the author in question.2014-05-02T21:42:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2012/07/14/a-bath-with-bourbon/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/red_lips.jpgA Bath with Bourbon2014-04-19T01:11:58+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/04/02/325-am/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/apc.jpg3:25 AM2025-07-29T15:42:50+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/03/04/clementine/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/clementines.jpgClementines2014-04-19T01:07:35+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/01/15/what-is-this/2014-04-19T01:03:29+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/01/16/why-sex-with-a-porcupine-is-a-terrible-decision/2014-04-19T01:03:26+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/01/19/life-stories-cow-tipping-from-the-point-of-view-of-the-cow/2014-04-19T01:03:20+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/01/19/look-at-my-shirt-its-awesome/2014-04-19T01:02:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2010/02/02/how-to-identify-a-terrorist/2023-10-03T03:26:44+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/04/02/i-am-too-awesome-to-make-a-real-title/2014-04-19T01:00:46+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/04/11/an-evening-shopping/2014-04-19T01:00:42+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/04/13/i-am-an-awesome-driver/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/image001.jpgI almost had an accident today.2014-04-19T01:00:25+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/06/29/a-review-of-britney-spears-albums/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/fedora.jpgfedora2014-04-19T01:00:18+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2011/05/16/how-to-become-a-gym-rat/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/300-smaller1.jpgHow to become a gym-rat.2014-04-19T01:00:13+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2012/07/25/50-hues-of-silver-part-two/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sexy-chicken.jpgChicken2014-04-19T00:58:18+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2013/11/15/the-great-bland/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/phcc_waiting_room.jpgphcc_waiting_roomThe Great Bland - Zach Diamond2014-04-19T00:58:09+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/01/28/prometheus-goes-to-the-market-wp/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/prometheus1-3805.jpgprometheus1-38052014-04-19T00:56:16+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/01/28/wp-dave-jimmy-breaks-the-fourth-wall/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/giant-glass-front-refrigerator-offers-ample-storage-space.jpgGiant-glass-front-refrigerator-offers-ample-storage-space2014-04-19T00:56:09+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/12/230/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/plum-crater_1150_990x742.jpgplum-crater_1150_990x7422014-04-19T00:55:49+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/16/the-ramsgard-shank-redemption/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/jail-prison.jpgRamsgard Zach Diamond2014-04-19T00:55:39+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/22/henry-spends-his-hard-earned-cantaloupes/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/14bf046fa24d9315155d5a3664cd14ac30588.jpg14bf046fa24d9315155d5a3664cd14ac305882014-04-19T00:54:37+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/24/david-introduces-his-orthodox-mother-to-his-mallard-lover/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/mother-in-law-from-400x270.jpgOrthodox Ducks Zach Diamond2014-04-19T00:54:31+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/25/summers-cypris/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/aphrodite_550.jpgAphrodite Zach DiamondCredit to phoenician.com2014-04-19T00:54:22+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/02/27/nice-guy-harvey-dates-the-last-woman-on-earth/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/gordonatorapocalypse.jpgGordonatorApocalypse2014-04-19T00:53:47+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/08/a-simple-request-from-a-dying-man-who-really-hasnt-asked-for-much/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/article-2116252-0d41e59e000005dc-132_634x466.jpgSimple Request Zach Diamond2014-09-30T02:16:54+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/11/mark-bruce-die-hard-willis-smokes-his-first-cigarette/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/crazy-homeless-man.jpgZach Diamond Mark Homeless2014-04-19T00:52:13+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/03/28/gladiators-and-dragons-oh-crap-whoops/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/jean-leon_gerome_pollice_verso.jpgJean-Leon_Gerome_Pollice_Verso2014-04-19T00:50:57+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/01/a-shelter-from-sanctuary/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/fall-out-shelter519x501.gifShelter Zach Diamond2014-04-19T00:49:29+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/09/swole-shamed-by-the-police-trigger-warning/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/pig_police.jpgSwole Shaming Zach Diamond2025-01-08T09:14:40+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/12/god-forgets-about-the-binding-of-isaac-and-attends-a-gnarly-rager/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/bindingisaac5.pngBindingIsaachttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/bindingisaac4.pngBindingIsaachttps://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/bindingisaac3.pngBindingIsaac StoryI think editing the blood and text onto this may have been blasphemous. https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/bindingisaac2.pngBindingIsaac StoryI think that making this might have been blasphemous. https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/778px-sacrifice_of_isaac-caravaggio_uffizi.jpg778px-Sacrifice_of_Isaac-Caravaggio_(Uffizi)2014-05-20T02:11:17+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/16/dave-learns-the-nba/https://wordsontheinternet.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/32030.jpgBasketball Zach Diamond2014-04-19T00:48:31+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.org/2014/04/18/medically-induced-swole-shame-trigger-warning/2014-04-19T00:46:43+00:00monthlyhttps://wordsontheinternet.orgdaily1.02025-07-29T15:42:50+00:00