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Category Archives: Longer Story

A longer work of fiction

Window Zach Diamond

The Man Outside Her Perfect Window

October 24, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

Caroline. I learned her name through the phonebook, my shaking fingers carefully caressing its pages as I searched for the address I’d seen her at so many times. 43 Mako […]

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Depressing, Fiction, Horror, Longer Story

Carl Tries to Buy Weed at the 74th Annual Hungry Games

October 10, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Welcome to the 74th Annual Hungry Games,” echoed a disembodied from above, the trees shaking with each syllable. “Pledges, please prepare for initiation. Good luck.” Carl placed his left hand flat […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

Obama Adventures: Obama Grows a Convincing Beard

September 23, 2014by Zach 5 Comments

“You like it, right?” Obama said, winking at Putin as un-sexually as possible. He didn’t want Putin to think he was coming on to him, especially considering they were meeting in […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story, Obama Adventures
Chuck Date Zach Diamond

Chuck Goes on a Particularly Bad Date

September 12, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

“That was just an appetizer, wait for the main dish!” said the old man, his eyes wide as he proceeded to manually dislocate his own jaw. Chuck stared at the […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Zach Diamond Dungeon

The Embarrassingly Accidental Death of The People’s Champion

September 5, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

I stood by the door, my knuckle hovering inches away. “Yeah, just wait. Just wait until he comes up third staircase, though, that’s when it gets good. I spent weeks […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
wealth Zach Diamond

Steve Decides to Summon the Demon of Patron Wealth

August 22, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Steve flipped the tome over and placed it flat on the wooden table in front of him, then took a step back. He was a little nervous—this would be the […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Hell House Zach Diamond

Chuck Considers the Merits of Purchasing a Home in Hell

July 8, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“I don’t know,” Chuck said, staring at the wall of fire ahead of him. “It looks a little painful for a living room.” Several sharp, metallic hands seemed to be […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Mayo Man Zach Diamond

The Adventures of Mayo Man: A Very Tangy Robbery

July 1, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Mayo Nip.” No, too blatant. I sighed softly, staring at the door of the bank across the street while rubbing my nipples tenderly. I’d been sitting in my hotel for […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
I'm Not Very Good At This Zach Diamond

I’m Not Very Good At This: Chapter 1

June 3, 2014by Zach 9 Comments

(This is the first chapter to a novel-length story I’m working on. Title is very tentative, as is this chapter. And I need to make a real picture, rather than some random […]

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Comedy, Fiction, I'm Not Very Good At This, Longer Story
Zach Diamond Historical

Historical Bang Bus: A Natural Selection

May 23, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Chaz glanced out the window of the bus as it slowly crept down the street. None of the people were right, they were all too stained. He wanted someone innocent, […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story, NSFW

Chuck Grylls: Office Survivalist and Potential Murderer

April 23, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

Chuck pulled at the tie around his neck, the loop tightening under his chin, his eyes staring into the hazy, rectangular mirror above the sink. He looked good, rather more […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Zach Diamond Fedora Friendzone

Casper, the Friend Zoned Ghost

April 4, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

It had been four weeks since she’d bought the house, four weeks since she last spoke to the Realtor, four weeks since she’d even stepped foot inside. It had taken […]

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Fiction, Horror, Longer Story

The Dangers of Injecting a Marijuanas: A True Made-Up Story

March 14, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Chaz lowered his eye to the door’s peep hole and peered through. A thin figure stood on the other side, body deformed by the convex bend of the glass. He […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Clare Flirts Zach Diamond

Claire Flirts Dangerously and Learns Hieroglyphics at the Bank

February 28, 2014by Zach 4 Comments

Claire held her palms out in front of her and stared down at her nails. The cheesecake yellow paint was already beginning to peel off around her cuticles, despite having […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Orthodox Ducks Zach Diamond

David Introduces His Orthodox Mother to His Mallard-Lover

February 24, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

Writing Prompt: A man (or woman) falls hopelessly in love with a duck, but his/her family refuses to accept their romance. //  David stared down at the table. It had […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Chuck_Grykks_Zach_Diamond

Chuck Grylls: Sassy Survivalist

February 19, 2014by Zach 6 Comments

Chuck knelt down, eyes fixed forward. The forest ahead was incredibly thick, allowing him vision of no more than a few feet, let alone the few miles he assumed he […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/

The Ramsgard-Shank Redemption

February 16, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Writing Prompt: A prisoner of war somehow escapes a maximum security camp.// Ramsgard. The moment he saw the name three years ago, Larry knew his life had ended. There was no […]

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Depressing, Longer Story
Chicken

50 Hues of Silver: Chapter 8

July 25, 2012by Zach Leave a comment

Mona woke with a startle, blinking as her eyes slowly began to focus. She stared up at her ceiling and watched as the wooden fan spun, gently tussling her sweat-soaked […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

50 Hues of Silver: Chapter 7

July 23, 2012by Zach 5 Comments

Mona Vee sighed and glanced at the floor, contemplating what was quickly becoming her future. Of course she saw Edwardo Peen in it, but the way he treated her left […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

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This is Words on the Internet, the only website recognized by both Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton as "good, old-fashioned family fun that won't spoil if left out of the refrigerator for too long." Although neither person has ever actually been quoted as saying that, nor does it make any sense, I can assure you that they probably would say exactly that given the opportunity. Maybe.

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