Chuck Accidentally Kills Himself and Goes to Hell
“Hey,” Chuck said, trying to bend his tongue backwards into his throat. A piece of hot dog was lodged just beyond his reach. He stared at the vaguely-human creature ahead […]
“Hey,” Chuck said, trying to bend his tongue backwards into his throat. A piece of hot dog was lodged just beyond his reach. He stared at the vaguely-human creature ahead […]
I didn’t want to send Chuck. Honestly, I would’ve rather gone with Ted. Sure, he was slightly retarded—sorry, mentally impaired—but at least I knew he could be trained. Ted was submissive, […]
“Mr. Obama!” shouted Hilary, kicking in the door to the Oval Office. “Don’t touch that fucking shit-cunt of a button!” “Why not, Clinton?” Obama said, tenderly rubbing the button as […]
“Hey, Jesus, how about some wine?” “Huh?” Jesus said, turning around. He softly brushed his long, brown hair out of his eyes with his left hand, careful to keep the […]
“Sir, I was looking for you,” Howard said, staring at the back of the chief’s neck. “We got him.” He turned around slowly, eyes staring down at a manila folder […]
(This is the first chapter to a novel-length story I’m working on. Title is very tentative, as is this chapter. And I need to make a real picture, rather than some random […]
Trial by combat. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time: the short, fat judge wide-eyed as Howard uttered the words. It just made so much sense. He […]
Chaz glanced out the window of the bus as it slowly crept down the street. None of the people were right, they were all too stained. He wanted someone innocent, […]
It was cold out, the gusting wind harsh against my exposed face. Mother had told me to wear my hat and scarf so as to conceal my skin from the […]
“Hey Chuck.” “Hey Billy Bob.” “You see that there dang pile of rocks in that there corner?” “Sure do,” Chuck said. “I’m thinkin’ that rock pile is givin’ us a […]
Chuck slid off the side of his bed so that his feet rested against the floor, then lowered his head into his upturned palms. It was another Saturday, another meaningless […]
“Hey Dave,” Chuck said, left hand resting against the window as his right hand grasped the bar below it to stabilize himself. “Yeah?” “Remind me, was Russia always on fire?” […]
Steven leaned naked against the frame of the open bathroom door, his gleaming member dangling like the tail of a dog that knew it’d done something wrong. She stared at […]
He held the phone in his hand, weightless yet inconceivably heavy at the same time. He could feel it tremble against his skull, quivering as he crushed the receiver against […]
“No, you can’t do that anymore,” Andrew said, left hand on his hip, right pointer finger raised and shaking back and forth. He was the sassiest ginger kid Dave had […]
“Sorry Abe, I’m back,” God said, appearing in front of Abraham in the form of an emerald-green lizard-man. He was roughly six feet tall and completely covered in scales, his […]
“You’re going to sit over here with Julie and watch.” “Yes, sir,” Fred said, slowly lowering himself onto the maroon-stained seat beside him, a hooded man grabbing at his wrists. […]
Leor paused, his sword raised over his head. Sweat-soaked hair dipped slightly into his vision, inadvertently blocking the blinding glare of the sun. The gladiator lay flat on the ground, […]
Zeus rose to his feet, his robe catching the edge of his chair slightly as he stood. “I will not stand for this,” he shouted, then paused. “Figuratively.” “Just give […]
Chaz lowered his eye to the door’s peep hole and peered through. A thin figure stood on the other side, body deformed by the convex bend of the glass. He […]