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Tag Archives: Comedy Writing

Sarah Unintentionally Stabs Herself Multiple Times Over Several Minutes

July 7, 2017by Zach 2 Comments

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf. […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Uncategorized
Hell House Zach Diamond

Chuck Considers the Merits of Purchasing a Home in Hell

July 8, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“I don’t know,” Chuck said, staring at the wall of fire ahead of him. “It looks a little painful for a living room.” Several sharp, metallic hands seemed to be […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Mayo Man Zach Diamond

The Adventures of Mayo Man: A Very Tangy Robbery

July 1, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Mayo Nip.” No, too blatant. I sighed softly, staring at the door of the bank across the street while rubbing my nipples tenderly. I’d been sitting in my hotel for […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Zach Diamond Dark Knight

A Review of “The Dark Knight” by a Critic Who Unintentionally Watched the Bootleg Version

June 27, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

I recently watched The Dark Knight, and I must say: for all the acclaim it has received, I really found it, well, bad. The film opens up in what looks […]

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"Non-fiction", Comedic Essay, Comedy
Credit to Wikia

Chuck Comes to a Startling Realization

June 25, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“Has the sky always been so black?” Chuck said, staring up toward the darkened clouds. They looked odd, he’d never really noticed how peculiar they were. In fact, he wasn’t […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
wickersonart.wordpress.com

Chuck Accidentally Kills Himself and Goes to Hell

June 20, 2014by Zach 5 Comments

“Hey,” Chuck said, trying to bend his tongue backwards into his throat. A piece of hot dog was lodged just beyond his reach. He stared at the vaguely-human creature ahead […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Zach Diamond Chuck

Chuck Confronts Several Racist Aliens

June 17, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

I didn’t want to send Chuck. Honestly, I would’ve rather gone with Ted. Sure, he was slightly retarded—sorry, mentally impaired—but at least I knew he could be trained. Ted was submissive, […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Obama Adventures Zach Diamond

Obama Adventures: The United States Transforms Into a Jet

June 13, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

“Mr. Obama!” shouted Hilary, kicking in the door to the Oval Office. “Don’t touch that fucking shit-cunt of a button!” “Why not, Clinton?” Obama said, tenderly rubbing the button as […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Obama Adventures, Short Story
Trial by Combat Zach Diamond

Howard Requests a Trial by Combat for a Speeding Ticket

May 30, 2014by Zach 5 Comments

Trial by combat. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time: the short, fat judge wide-eyed as Howard uttered the words. It just made so much sense. He […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Zach Diamond Monologue

A Kindergartener with the Inner Monologue of a Pedantic 35-Year-Old Struggles With His Seat Belt

May 21, 2014by Zach 3 Comments

It was cold out, the gusting wind harsh against my exposed face. Mother had told me to wear my hat and scarf so as to conceal my skin from the […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Space Rednecks Zach Diamond

Space Rednecks: Protectors of Intergalactic Property

May 16, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Hey Chuck.” “Hey Billy Bob.” “You see that there dang pile of rocks in that there corner?” “Sure do,” Chuck said. “I’m thinkin’ that rock pile is givin’ us a […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story

Medically Induced Swole Shame [TRIGGER WARNING]

April 18, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

I was swole shamed by a doctor this week, mocked and humiliated by him in front of my peers, simply because of his hatred for mid-bulk, able-bodied people like myself. […]

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Comedy, Swole Acceptance
Basketball Zach Diamond

Dave Learns the NBA Does Not Support the Throwing of Babies

April 16, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“No, you can’t do that anymore,” Andrew said, left hand on his hip, right pointer finger raised and shaking back and forth. He was the sassiest ginger kid Dave had […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story

God Forgets About the Binding of Isaac and Attends a Gnarly Rager

April 12, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“Sorry Abe, I’m back,” God said, appearing in front of Abraham in the form of an emerald-green lizard-man. He was roughly six feet tall and completely covered in scales, his […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story

Gladiators and Dragons: Oh Crap, Whoops.

March 28, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Leor paused, his sword raised over his head. Sweat-soaked hair dipped slightly into his vision, inadvertently blocking the blinding glare of the sun. The gladiator lay flat on the ground, […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Gladiators-Zach-Diamond

An Inefficnent Debate Amongst Gods, Titans, Deities, and a Black Guy

March 25, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Zeus rose to his feet, his robe catching the edge of his chair slightly as he stood. “I will not stand for this,” he shouted, then paused. “Figuratively.” “Just give […]

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Comedy, Short Story
Simple Request Zach Diamond

A Simple Request from a Dying Man Who Really Hasn’t Asked for Much

March 8, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

I don’t ask for much. I really don’t. Yes, I once requested that a live, man-sized catfish be caught and butchered for my pleasure whilst seated in a land-locked vegan […]

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Comedic Essay, Horror
Randy Rhino Zach Diamond

Randy the Rhino Has a Terrible Day

March 5, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Randy the Rhino rose from his bed and looked out at the day. It seemed it was Monday and that wasn’t okay! He couldn’t stay home and play as he […]

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"Children's" Story, Fiction
Clare Flirts Zach Diamond

Claire Flirts Dangerously and Learns Hieroglyphics at the Bank

February 28, 2014by Zach 4 Comments

Claire held her palms out in front of her and stared down at her nails. The cheesecake yellow paint was already beginning to peel off around her cuticles, despite having […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Orthodox Ducks Zach Diamond

David Introduces His Orthodox Mother to His Mallard-Lover

February 24, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

Writing Prompt: A man (or woman) falls hopelessly in love with a duck, but his/her family refuses to accept their romance. //  David stared down at the table. It had […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Chuck_Grykks_Zach_Diamond

Chuck Grylls: Sassy Survivalist

February 19, 2014by Zach 6 Comments

Chuck knelt down, eyes fixed forward. The forest ahead was incredibly thick, allowing him vision of no more than a few feet, let alone the few miles he assumed he […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

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