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Tag Archives: Humor

Hell House Zach Diamond

Chuck Considers the Merits of Purchasing a Home in Hell

July 8, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“I don’t know,” Chuck said, staring at the wall of fire ahead of him. “It looks a little painful for a living room.” Several sharp, metallic hands seemed to be […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Mayo Man Zach Diamond

The Adventures of Mayo Man: A Very Tangy Robbery

July 1, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Mayo Nip.” No, too blatant. I sighed softly, staring at the door of the bank across the street while rubbing my nipples tenderly. I’d been sitting in my hotel for […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story
Zach Diamond Dark Knight

A Review of “The Dark Knight” by a Critic Who Unintentionally Watched the Bootleg Version

June 27, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

I recently watched The Dark Knight, and I must say: for all the acclaim it has received, I really found it, well, bad. The film opens up in what looks […]

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"Non-fiction", Comedic Essay, Comedy
Credit to Wikia

Chuck Comes to a Startling Realization

June 25, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“Has the sky always been so black?” Chuck said, staring up toward the darkened clouds. They looked odd, he’d never really noticed how peculiar they were. In fact, he wasn’t […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
wickersonart.wordpress.com

Chuck Accidentally Kills Himself and Goes to Hell

June 20, 2014by Zach 5 Comments

“Hey,” Chuck said, trying to bend his tongue backwards into his throat. A piece of hot dog was lodged just beyond his reach. He stared at the vaguely-human creature ahead […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Zach Diamond Chuck

Chuck Confronts Several Racist Aliens

June 17, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

I didn’t want to send Chuck. Honestly, I would’ve rather gone with Ted. Sure, he was slightly retarded—sorry, mentally impaired—but at least I knew he could be trained. Ted was submissive, […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Obama Adventures Zach Diamond

Obama Adventures: The United States Transforms Into a Jet

June 13, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

“Mr. Obama!” shouted Hilary, kicking in the door to the Oval Office. “Don’t touch that fucking shit-cunt of a button!” “Why not, Clinton?” Obama said, tenderly rubbing the button as […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Obama Adventures, Short Story

Jesus Suffers a Bit of Stage Fright

June 10, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“Hey, Jesus, how about some wine?” “Huh?” Jesus said, turning around. He softly brushed his long, brown hair out of his eyes with his left hand, careful to keep the […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Interrogation Zach Diamond

The Pun Outlaw: Crime and Punishment

June 5, 2014by Zach 3 Comments

“Sir, I was looking for you,” Howard said, staring at the back of the chief’s neck. “We got him.” He turned around slowly, eyes staring down at a manila folder […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
I'm Not Very Good At This Zach Diamond

I’m Not Very Good At This: Chapter 1

June 3, 2014by Zach 9 Comments

(This is the first chapter to a novel-length story I’m working on. Title is very tentative, as is this chapter. And I need to make a real picture, rather than some random […]

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Comedy, Fiction, I'm Not Very Good At This, Longer Story
Trial by Combat Zach Diamond

Howard Requests a Trial by Combat for a Speeding Ticket

May 30, 2014by Zach 5 Comments

Trial by combat. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time: the short, fat judge wide-eyed as Howard uttered the words. It just made so much sense. He […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Zach Diamond Historical

Historical Bang Bus: A Natural Selection

May 23, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Chaz glanced out the window of the bus as it slowly crept down the street. None of the people were right, they were all too stained. He wanted someone innocent, […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story, NSFW
Zach Diamond Monologue

A Kindergartener with the Inner Monologue of a Pedantic 35-Year-Old Struggles With His Seat Belt

May 21, 2014by Zach 3 Comments

It was cold out, the gusting wind harsh against my exposed face. Mother had told me to wear my hat and scarf so as to conceal my skin from the […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Space Rednecks Zach Diamond

Space Rednecks: Protectors of Intergalactic Property

May 16, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Hey Chuck.” “Hey Billy Bob.” “You see that there dang pile of rocks in that there corner?” “Sure do,” Chuck said. “I’m thinkin’ that rock pile is givin’ us a […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Russian War Zach Diamond

Russia Accidentally Catches on Fire

May 9, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“Hey Dave,” Chuck said, left hand resting against the window as his right hand grasped the bar below it to stabilize himself. “Yeah?” “Remind me, was Russia always on fire?” […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Obama Letter Zach Diamond

An Actual Letter from Former President Barack Obama to His Replacement

May 6, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Hey Dogg, It’s President Obama. Well, former-President Obama. What’s good? Don’t bother responding to that, this is an email and I won’t be able to hear what you said. I […]

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"Non-fiction", Comedy, Obama Adventures
Romance Novel Zach Diamond

An Excerpt from a Romance Novel Written by a Homeschooled Feminist

May 2, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Steven leaned naked against the frame of the open bathroom door, his gleaming member dangling like the tail of a dog that knew it’d done something wrong. She stared at […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Apocalypse-Zach-Diamond

The Mysterious, Pink “Kill Yourself” in the Night

April 30, 2014by Zach 1 Comment

Chuck stared at the sign on the building, the words “Kill Yourself” back-lit atop pink, glittery letters. He hadn’t seen the color pink in decades—or any color, for that matter. […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Short Story

Chuck Grylls: Office Survivalist and Potential Murderer

April 23, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

Chuck pulled at the tie around his neck, the loop tightening under his chin, his eyes staring into the hazy, rectangular mirror above the sink. He looked good, rather more […]

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Chuck Tales, Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

Medically Induced Swole Shame [TRIGGER WARNING]

April 18, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

I was swole shamed by a doctor this week, mocked and humiliated by him in front of my peers, simply because of his hatred for mid-bulk, able-bodied people like myself. […]

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Comedy, Swole Acceptance
Basketball Zach Diamond

Dave Learns the NBA Does Not Support the Throwing of Babies

April 16, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

“No, you can’t do that anymore,” Andrew said, left hand on his hip, right pointer finger raised and shaking back and forth. He was the sassiest ginger kid Dave had […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story

God Forgets About the Binding of Isaac and Attends a Gnarly Rager

April 12, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

“Sorry Abe, I’m back,” God said, appearing in front of Abraham in the form of an emerald-green lizard-man. He was roughly six feet tall and completely covered in scales, his […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Short Story
Gladiators-Zach-Diamond

An Inefficnent Debate Amongst Gods, Titans, Deities, and a Black Guy

March 25, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Zeus rose to his feet, his robe catching the edge of his chair slightly as he stood. “I will not stand for this,” he shouted, then paused. “Figuratively.” “Just give […]

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Comedy, Short Story
Falafel Life Zach Diamond

The Falafel Life Chooses Chris

March 21, 2014by Zach 3 Comments

Chris shoved his hand into his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. He frantically flipped it open and began scrolling through his contacts, his other hand gripped firmly around […]

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Comedy, Depressing, Fiction, Short Story
Randy Rhino Zach Diamond

Randy the Rhino Has a Terrible Day

March 5, 2014by Zach Leave a comment

Randy the Rhino rose from his bed and looked out at the day. It seemed it was Monday and that wasn’t okay! He couldn’t stay home and play as he […]

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"Children's" Story, Fiction
Orthodox Ducks Zach Diamond

David Introduces His Orthodox Mother to His Mallard-Lover

February 24, 2014by Zach 2 Comments

Writing Prompt: A man (or woman) falls hopelessly in love with a duck, but his/her family refuses to accept their romance. //  David stared down at the table. It had […]

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Comedy, Fiction, Longer Story

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